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Oh, Man!
When man became fully erect, his bipedal method of locomotion took him to the savannas where he hunted and made fire. During a Pleistocene Ice Age he walked from Siberia to North America. Used to be when he arrived he'd bring flowers, but now he mostly sits and watches television.
But He Says No
When a guy I work with makes a rude comment about my split ends I tell him that probably the reason his wife and all his girlfriends have cheated on him is because he's too critical and in order to regain their self esteem they go out and sleep with someone else who makes them feel beautiful. But he says no, it's because all the women he dates turn out to be whores.
Scientific Dribble
Lately I've been watching TV shows about quantum mechanics, which can provide predictions of the physical behavior of systems in a way that's more accurate than, say, Newtonian mechanics, and of course even general relativity is limited... and it turns out that some of those physicists are really hot looking.
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